Posts Tagged 'Tiger Woods'

Cryptoquote Spoiler – 05/04/10

I get to play golf for a living.  What more can you ask for – getting paid for doing what you love.”   — Tiger Woods

(Even though I was guilty of pandering to the lowest common denominator, by posting some silly Tiger Woods jokes . . . on this very blog, I’m probably one of the few people who actually felt bad for the guy . . . from day one.  And, it’s not because I’m a big fan – I barely/rarely follow golf, and it’s certainly not because I approve of infidelity.  I felt bad because I knew from the moment the “news” broke it was going to be the never ending story.  One that destroys families.

Just as there was a media feeding frenzy over the indiscretions of Eliot Spitzer, a man barely known outside of the state of New York let alone outside of this country, Tiger was doomed to a life under the microscope of an uncaring, exploitative media.  They know only too well that tawdry sells, so for the sake of the almighty dollar there are absolutely no boundaries.  Not anymore.

I think we need to put things back in their proper perspective.  In the grand scheme of all the events of the world – wars, natural and man-made disasters, scams that bilk investors, schemes that make the rich ever richer, unemployment, economic collapse, famine, genocide, global warming/climate change, poverty, disease, religion, politics, oppression and inequalities of all kinds, etc., etc., etc. – are these sordid stories important news?  Will knowing this . . . this tripe benefit us in any way?  Will having this “information” make us better citizens?  Better stewards of this world?  Better humans?

And, the things that I listed above are only bad things that effect our lives and our world.  There are also good and great things.  Births, cures and new treatments of our ills, inventions, innovations, discoveries of our world and universe, graduations, weddings, artistic achievements, and a wide variety of successes.  These are positive things. Things that can help us feel good about the world, and ourselves.  Do we really need to see the high and mighty fall in order to feel better about our own, more pedestrian lives?  What does that say about us?

And, as a result of all this celebrity cheating nonsense, husbands and wives all around the world are looking at their spouses with an ever increasing suspicion.  The insecure and jealous are becoming paranoid.  Why does he always work so late?  Why does she get those mysterious cell phone calls?  Why is so and so on the internet so much? Accusations are being made, and arguments and fights are ensuing.  These little lovelies then contribute to an increase in domestic disputes and physical abuse, separation and divorce, and sometimes even the ultimate crime of passion.  The only ones benefiting from this current social phenomena are the private investigation firms and companies that sell computer tracking software.  Very nice, indeed.

The news media is definitely at fault.  But just who allows them to continue to feed this perverse little curiosity?

For my very small part in this ridiculous exploitation I would like to offer my apologies to Tiger and Elin Woods.  This should have been something between the two of you, only.  This should have been none of my business, and I’m truly sorry for your pain.)


He’s baaa-ack!!!

Tiger says: Lay’s.  Get YOUR Smile On! No One Can (discr-)Eat Just One!

Tiger and Elin Make Up!

(Mostly Bad) Tiger Woods Jokes

Received via e-mail:

Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A. Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Headline from another UK paper:  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

That’s no way to treat the caddy after a win.

I hear the argument started over Thanksgiving dinner when he asked his wife if he could have another piece of white meat.

Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.

I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally say that I can out-drive Tiger.

Tiger is bringing out a new rescue club called the “Elin”

Q. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
A. They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between an iron and a wood.

One thing that Tiger proved is that even the best golfers hit trees.

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