Posts Tagged 'Humor'

Cryptoquote Spoiler – 01/30/19

Always get married early in the morning.  That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”   —   Mickey Rooney

(Very funny quote, from a guy who was only married about . . . mmm, eight times!  We either had this quote, or a similar marriage quote of his, sometime before.  He lived a nice long life, and he was a performer from age three, ’til almost the day he died!  Be well and do good, friends.)   —   YUR

Image courtesy of Google

Sunday Cryptoquote Spoiler – 03/09/14

 

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!

Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me! (Photo credit: The West End)

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.”   —   Paula Poundstone

(Very funny lady.  Very bright too.  Be well and do good, friends.)   —   YUR

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Sunday Cryptoquote Spoiler – 01/12/14

A Quote From Ogden Nash

A Quote From Ogden Nash (Photo credit: Tobyotter)

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.”   —   Ogden Nash

(Tongue in cheek?  Sure.  But then again, one could make the argument that there’s a lot of truth to this as well.  Think about it.  Not too hard, but think about it.  Be well and do good, friends.)   —   YUR

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Cryptoquote Spoiler – 02/29/12

 

Repulse Bay palm trees

Image via Wikipedia

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.”   —   Earl Wilson

(Pretty clever!  Funny thing is BrainyQuote.com is attributing all the Earl Wilson quotes to the baseball player, instead of the the famous columnist.  Just another reason to not believe everything you read on the internet!  Be well, do good and always dig a little deeper, friends.)   —   YUR

Ahhh . . . The Age of Confimism

Oh, to be 22 again!

Oh, to be 22 again!

Look at yer uncle!  Young, handsome and full of confidence and optimism.  When you’re 22 you think you are ready to take on the friggin’ world.  There’s no such word as “can’t”, and you laugh at people who try to tell you what’s what in life.  It’s not gonna be that way for me!  I’m not gonna work in some stupid office.  I’m not gonna let myself get fat. Make fun of bald guys?  Yeah, why not!  I’ve got a full head of the stuff.  Conventional marriage?  That’s for chumps! I’m gonna be a star! Sounds silly, now, but back then they were – essentially – my core beliefs

Just when did it all go south?  It’s kind of hard to pinpoint.  It didn’t happen all at once, but it likely started with this strange sense of feeling all alone in the Big Apple.  And then . . . there was this middle-aged (+) woman at work, who told me that I was handsome enough, but I didn’t have “it“. “It“, huh?  Hmmm!  Why would/should/did I care what some retiring Yenta thought?  How could something said by somebody so relatively insignificant get in the way of my dreams and aspirations?  Couldn’t!  Could it???  There must’ve been something in the timing of her saying it.  I might’ve been feeling all alone at the time.  I might’ve let myself think that the old gal sorta liked me, and felt betrayed by her declarative candor.  It might’ve just rang true.  Who knows?  Ultimately, it was my fault for letting it affect me.  But, it did affect me.  I played the part of the banker for the next 23 years, always justifying why I didn’t have the time to go to any auditions.

But, life went on.  “Life’s what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”  Yeah, John.  I hear ya, brother.  So, I wasn’t the Zac Efron . . . thirty(ish) years earlier.  Zac’s look probably wouldn’t have worked in the early ’80s anyways.  Hey!  Maybe . . . I could still play the kid’s dad, or something!  Ginger, call my agent!

Your Uncle Rave

“Palin was the choice that they GAVE me.”

If youse guys remember my:  Sarah Palin (The Magilla from Wasilla!)- A Perspective (look it up!)  you should get a kick out of this video.  It’s not suitable for young children, but there’s no nudity or violence.  Just some strong (rap-appropriate) language. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_rOCDG_btk

Watch it, and then maybe re-read the above referenced piece.  The rovian puppet-masters really gave poor, old John no choice, whatsoever.  Ol’ Karl’s string of victory plans might seem to be coming to an end, but that certainly does NOT mean we can afford to take this election for granted!  If this thing is allowed to get anywhere near close then it will just be an open invitation for them to steal a 3rd presidential election.  We all MUST make it to the polls on election day, come Hell or high water.  And, we owe it to ourselves to make sure that (our) others make it as well.

If you want 4 more years of the Bush doctrine . . . just let the other guy go out and vote.

YUR

“Post Turtle” (More Sarah Palin E-mail)

This just in . . . from the dearest of friends.  I think it’s an appropriate way to end THE worst week in Wall Street history, at least that yer ol’ uncle can remember.  It totally sucks (Wall Street), but life goes on.  And as long as you’re living . . . you might as well be laughing.  YUR

The Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President .

  

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Sarah Palin is a post turtle.’

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.  

The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.’  

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain.

 

 

 

 ‘You know she didn’t get up there by herself,

she doesn’t belong up there,

she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there, and

you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.’

This week is done.  It’s passed.  Don’t bother looking back.  Let’s just focus on family, friends, and the future.  Have a great weekend, folks!

YUR


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