A Timely Parody . . . using an old song

The Herschel went down to Georgia, he was lookin’ for an election to steal
He was outta his mind with a large behind
And spoutin’ that MAGA spiel
When he came across this reverend sawin’ on a fiddle and playin’ it hot
And the Herschel jumped up on a red clay clump
And said, “Rev, let me tell you what”
“I guess you didn’t know it but I like Fiddle Faddle too
And if you’d care to pet the bear, I’ll make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good fiddle, Rev
But give the Herschel a clue
I’ll bet a fiddle of brass that I beat your ass
‘Cause I think I’m fitter than you”
The Rev said, “my name’s Warnock, and you know how to spin
But I’ll take your bet, and you’re gonna regret
‘Cause I’m the honest man who’ll win”
Reverend, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard
‘Cause Heck’s broke loose in Georgia, and the Herschel’s in the yard
And if you win, you get this shiny fiddle made of brass
But if you lose, the Herschel passes gas
The Herschel opened up his case and said, “I’ll start to crow”
And lies flew from his very lips as he rosined up his bow
And he pulled the bow across the strings
And it made a MAGA hiss
Then a band of Proud Boys joined in
And it sounded something like this

(Crazed Fiddle Interlude)

When the Herschel finished, Warnock said, “Well, you’re a pretty good BSer, son
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how a senate seat is won”
“Fire on the Mountain” run boys, run
The Herschel’s in the House of the Stinking Bum
Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough
Granny, does your dog bite? No, Rev, no
The Herschel bowed his head because it was full of meat
And he laid that brassy fiddle on the ground at Warnock’s feet
Warnock said, “Herschel, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch, I’m the honest man who’ll win”
He played “Fire on the Mountain” run boys, run
The Herschel’s in the House of the Stinking Bum
Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough
Granny, will your dog bite? No Rev, no.

—   YUR

Today’s Sarah Palin Comment???

Surprisingly, this arrived in my Spam folder!  I had no idea Ms. Palin followed my blog.

“I’ve be mindful your stuff previous to and you are just too excellent. I really like what you have acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the best way during which you assert it. You make it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to stay it wise. I can not wait to read far more from you.“

Wow!  I can hardly wait for what she has to say next!   —   YUR  😉

He’s baaa-ack!!!

Tiger says: Lay’s.  Get YOUR Smile On! No One Can (discr-)Eat Just One!

Tiger and Elin Make Up!

Someone knows how to have fun with photo shoppe-ing!

The Price of Human Life – in Israeli Terms

Currently it’s at about 374 Palestinian lives for every 4 Israeli lives.  I guess to some that sounds fair!  I don’t know, though.  It sounds a little iffy to me.  I wonder who decides?  Hmmm!

Maybe a conversation, somewhere in Jerusalem, went something like this (with all due apologies to The Untouchables):

Ehud Barak: You said you wanted to get Hamas. Do you really wanna get them? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Shimon Peres: Anything within the (cough) law.
Barak: And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms (you know – MUCH less than humans) you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they’re not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
Peres: I want to get Hamas! I don’t know how to do it.
Barak: You wanna know how to get Hamas? They pull a stick, you pull a gun. They throw some rocks, you fire grenade launchers.  They fire some rockets, that rarely hit the broadside of a barn, you send in air strikes with F-15l Ra’ams and F-16l Sufas, firing Raphael Python 5 missiles, and of course, your Apache Longbow attack helicopters armed with AGM-114 Hellfire and Hydra 70 rockets.  He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send ninety-some of his to the morgue. *That’s* the *Israeli* way! And that’s how you get Hamas. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I’m offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?
Peres: I have sworn to take down this organization with all legal (and otherwise) powers at my disposal and I will do so.
Barak: Well, HaShem hates a coward.
[jabs Peres with his hand, and Peres shakes it]
Barak: Do you know what a bloodbath is, Mr. Peres?
Peres: Yes.
Barak: Good, ’cause you just started one.

Sounds feasible to me. —   YUR

PS.  I’d go into detail on my personal views on Zionism, but no doubt someone would jump to that popular (via indoctrination) assumption that I must be some kind of Anti-Semite.  Because that’s how narrow minds work.

“Palin was the choice that they GAVE me.”

If youse guys remember my:  Sarah Palin (The Magilla from Wasilla!)- A Perspective (look it up!)  you should get a kick out of this video.  It’s not suitable for young children, but there’s no nudity or violence.  Just some strong (rap-appropriate) language. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_rOCDG_btk

Watch it, and then maybe re-read the above referenced piece.  The rovian puppet-masters really gave poor, old John no choice, whatsoever.  Ol’ Karl’s string of victory plans might seem to be coming to an end, but that certainly does NOT mean we can afford to take this election for granted!  If this thing is allowed to get anywhere near close then it will just be an open invitation for them to steal a 3rd presidential election.  We all MUST make it to the polls on election day, come Hell or high water.  And, we owe it to ourselves to make sure that (our) others make it as well.

If you want 4 more years of the Bush doctrine . . . just let the other guy go out and vote.

YUR

Who are you calling an elitist, “my friend”?

Ya know how the FOX (faux) News gang, and some of the ultra-conservative pols & preachers LOVE to go out of there way – and heavily stress – Barack Obama’s middle name?  You know.  To make us think that he’s not “one of us”!?!  To make us think he’s “with the terrorists”!?!  And, remember how they LOVE to call Barack an “elitist”? (Mainly, because he went to Columbia and Harvard)  Well, with Johnny not quite sure how many homes he owned, I thought it was exta amusing to find out that this “man of the people” regular guy’s full name is John SIDNEY McCain III (the 3rd)!  Sidney???  Maybe Democrats should frequently stress McCain’s middle name.

Anyway, the whole Sidney thing made me remember the dopey sitcom, from the early ’80s, starring Tony Randall and Swoosie Kurtz: Love, Sidney.  It too dealt with an older man and a much younger woman that comes into his life.  Kind of like McCain and Palin.  Oh, and the Kurtz character had a kid, and she happened to be an unwed mother.  Eerie, huh?  So, I decided to look up the theme song.  And, wouldn’t you know it, the words to the song actually fit the McCain/Palin relationship, pretty darn well.  (If I can borrow a folksy-talk phrase from the Winky one.)  It even ends with the trite John McCain’s “my friend”.

Check out the two links below.  One is of the lyrics to the theme song, and the other is an actual wave-file of the song. (Beware diabetics!  It’s syruppy sweet!)

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/lovesidneylyrics.html

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/sounds/lovesidney.wav

 

The wave file might take a while to load, so be patient.

YUR

 

 

 

Paulson’s Phishing Expedition (NOT Sarah Palin E-mail)

I get SO much great stuff in my e-mail!  This isn’t Sarah Palin related, but it certainly IS topical.  I have no idea who actually wrote it, but it deserves *publishing*.  If I find out the author, and they don’t mind taking credit, I’ll give them their due.   YUR

I call this:  Paulson’s Phishing Expedition

“Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of $800,000,000,000 US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, vice-chairman for UBS investment bank, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As Senator, you may know Mr. Gramm as the gracious leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s and the great creator of the Enron loophole in 2000, which deregulated energy resources. Understand that Mr. Gramm is an honorable man and this transaction you make is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@ustreas.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully,

Minister of Treasury Paulson”

Kontemptible Karl – Update!

We’ve come to this remote island, and you’ll never believe what we’ve found.  The fugitive, Rove!  (Seems he can’t hide here, either.)

Simply serve an arrest warrant, with the assistance of the local authorities, and he’ll be in U.S. custody in no time!  Find out: why he outed a CIA agent, how he targeted and harassed an “unfriendly” governor . . . all on the sly.

I’m Bill Curtis.  And I’ve just found . . . the fugitive, Rove.

Karl rove can’t hide anymore.  Get the Contempt of Congress charge back on the table, and restore this country’s Rule of Law!

(Uncle Rave has been granted full immunity for any resemblance this may have to any actual telecom commercial.)   YUR

Rove Ignores Subpoena – House Judiciary Sics the “Dog” on Him

The House Judiciary Committee has just announced that they have hired the services of Duane “Dog” Chapman to bring in the fugitive, Karl Rove.  We understand, from President Bush’s own words, that Rove is on the run.  “Karl Rove is moving on down the road.”  And, apparently Mr. Bush is still in contact with the fugitive, Rove.  “I’ll be on the road behind you here in a little bit.”  The fiendishly defiant Rove was heard to be taunting his pursuers, stating: “Well, I’m Moby Dick and they’re after me.”  Authorities are warning the public that Rove is “crafty, acerbic, and cutthroat”.

Rove, a college dropout, who got his start by working for George H.W. Bush in the 1970s got to know George W. Bush and masterminded his rise to the Texas governor’s mansion and the White House.  They quickly became known as “Pinkie and The Brain”.

This just in from A&E studios.  “Dog” has tracked the fugitive Rove down to Ingram, Texas.  I’m Bill Curtis.  We take you now to our very first ever live broadcast of “Dog the Bounty Hunter”. 

BC:  Duane!  Are you OK?  What happened here, Dog?

Dog:  I tracked the perp to this trailer park, here in Ingram.  I saw through the window that he was sittin’ in a lawn chair, wearin’ nothin’ but his boxers and a wife-beater, drinkin’ a Lone Star.  D’ja ever drink Lone Star, Bill?

BC:  I can’t say that I’ve had the pleasure, Dog.  But, back to the fugitive Rove.  What happened here?

Dog:  Well, I kicked in the door, like I always do, and I yells at him:  On the ground, dirtbag!  Eat the carpet!

BC:  Sounds like you had him dead to rights, Duane.  Where is he?

Dog:  Ye-aah.  Well, I’m gettin’ there.  Instead of him gettin’ on the floor, he just started cryin’ like a little bitch.  He was goin’ on about how he can’t go to prison, and something about delicate alibaster skin.  But, then he stopped cryin’ and offered me one a his beers.  This messed up drama scene caught me a little by surprise, and I was pretty thirsty, so I says:  Sure, I’ll take a brewski.

BC:  Oh no, Dog!  You didn’t!

Dog:  He looked me square in the eye, with this strange little smile.  I reached for the beer . . . and he hauls off and kicks me in the nads!  I went down like a ton a bricks.

BC:  You fell for the old “Have a beer” ploy?  How could you, Dog?

Dog:  Before I could make it up he’d run outta there, laughin’ like he was the Riddler or sumpin.  And, for a four-eyed, bald, fat little f___(CENSORED) he moves pretty good.

BC:  Well, there you have it, folks.  The fugitive Rove, utilizing his crafty and cutthroat wiles, has eluded capture.  He is a slippery one, folks.  The authorities warn us that only trained professionals should attempt to approach the fugitive Rove.  He’s very dangerous, and this being Texas, he may be armed.  I’m Bill Curtis.

We now return you to A&E studios, to our previously scheduled show “Biography”: Richard Nixon (“I am not a crook”), already in progress.

To be continued???

Your Uncle Rave