A Timely Parody . . . using an old song

The Herschel went down to Georgia, he was lookin’ for an election to steal
He was outta his mind with a large behind
And spoutin’ that MAGA spiel
When he came across this reverend sawin’ on a fiddle and playin’ it hot
And the Herschel jumped up on a red clay clump
And said, “Rev, let me tell you what”
“I guess you didn’t know it but I like Fiddle Faddle too
And if you’d care to pet the bear, I’ll make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good fiddle, Rev
But give the Herschel a clue
I’ll bet a fiddle of brass that I beat your ass
‘Cause I think I’m fitter than you”
The Rev said, “my name’s Warnock, and you know how to spin
But I’ll take your bet, and you’re gonna regret
‘Cause I’m the honest man who’ll win”
Reverend, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard
‘Cause Heck’s broke loose in Georgia, and the Herschel’s in the yard
And if you win, you get this shiny fiddle made of brass
But if you lose, the Herschel passes gas
The Herschel opened up his case and said, “I’ll start to crow”
And lies flew from his very lips as he rosined up his bow
And he pulled the bow across the strings
And it made a MAGA hiss
Then a band of Proud Boys joined in
And it sounded something like this

(Crazed Fiddle Interlude)

When the Herschel finished, Warnock said, “Well, you’re a pretty good BSer, son
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how a senate seat is won”
“Fire on the Mountain” run boys, run
The Herschel’s in the House of the Stinking Bum
Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough
Granny, does your dog bite? No, Rev, no
The Herschel bowed his head because it was full of meat
And he laid that brassy fiddle on the ground at Warnock’s feet
Warnock said, “Herschel, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch, I’m the honest man who’ll win”
He played “Fire on the Mountain” run boys, run
The Herschel’s in the House of the Stinking Bum
Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough
Granny, will your dog bite? No Rev, no.

—   YUR

Cryptoquote Solved – 11/05/22

“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying:  skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”   —   Ron Swanson, “Parks and Recreation”

(Gotta love Nick Offerman’s character!  People who say that they enjoy skim milk are suffering from a form of Stockholm Syndrome!  Ooh, ooh!  I wonder what he thinks of cottage cheese???  And, I bet there hasn’t been a diet soda made that he’ll drink!  LOL!  Be well and do good, friends.)   —   YUR

Image courtesy of Google

Jumble Solved – 11/05/22

Visual Description:  Mobile mooer.

CEEEM  =  EMCEE,  CANTE  =  ENACT,  TNGORS  =  STRONG,  DRSUIA  =  RADIUS   —   Giving us:  EEEENTSTRGRIS

Clue/Question:  If a male bovine could drive a car, you’d see a – – – 

Answer:  STEER STEERING

(I wonder if there is any connection between the English expression bollocks and the word bullock!  Bollocks technically means testicles, though when they say it they usually mean nonsense.  A steer is a castrated bull, which means he’s had his testicles removed.  And, another word for steer is bullock!  And, a steer driving a car is nonsense.  So, it comes full circle!

It’s not the first rodeo for any of today’s clue words.  They all have the R95 brand on them.  And, only one of the jumbles is coming up as new.  We have seen “ceeem”, “cante” and “drsuia” in previous Jumbles.  I thought that both “cante” and “drsuia” were fairly challenging jumbles.  The answer letter layout was a thrilling thirteen letter jumble.  I thought it was carefully cryptic.

Really amusing cartoon of the bullock driving the jeep.  Or, maybe it’s an old Bronco!  No one looks more surprised than that horse!  I think the answer to one of the cowboys’ question is:  On a cattle drive!  The steer definitely seems very intent.  But where could he be going?  Off to greener pastures?  Maybe, he’s just trying to get out of Dodge.  He’s probably herd what eventually happens to steers!  Yikes!  Be well and do good, friends.)   —   YUR

Images courtesy of Google