Archive for December 2nd, 2009

(Mostly Bad) Tiger Woods Jokes

Received via e-mail:

Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A. Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Headline from another UK paper:  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

That’s no way to treat the caddy after a win.

I hear the argument started over Thanksgiving dinner when he asked his wife if he could have another piece of white meat.

Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.

I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally say that I can out-drive Tiger.

Tiger is bringing out a new rescue club called the “Elin”

Q. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
A. They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between an iron and a wood.

One thing that Tiger proved is that even the best golfers hit trees.

Cryptoquote Spoiler – 12/02/09

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”   — George Bernard Shaw

(This must be the mantra of Christopher P. St Lawrence.  Just ask the good *Peter* people of Ramapo, NY.  The *Paul* people, of course, will have no comment . . . or call you some kinda name!) —   YUR

Jumble Spoiler – 12/02/09

Visual Description:  Surgeon telling a nurse that the brain diagram helps his patients understand his findings.

PIRAD  =  RAPID,  YUNNF  =  FUNNY,  BEMMER  =  MEMBER,  BUESAD  =  ABUSED —   Giving us:  AIFNMMRED

Clue/Question:  When the surgeon hung the brain illustration on the wall, it became a . . .

Answer:  “FRAME” OF MIND


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