Ahhh . . . The Age of Confimism

Oh, to be 22 again!

Oh, to be 22 again!

Look at yer uncle!  Young, handsome and full of confidence and optimism.  When you’re 22 you think you are ready to take on the friggin’ world.  There’s no such word as “can’t”, and you laugh at people who try to tell you what’s what in life.  It’s not gonna be that way for me!  I’m not gonna work in some stupid office.  I’m not gonna let myself get fat. Make fun of bald guys?  Yeah, why not!  I’ve got a full head of the stuff.  Conventional marriage?  That’s for chumps! I’m gonna be a star! Sounds silly, now, but back then they were – essentially – my core beliefs

Just when did it all go south?  It’s kind of hard to pinpoint.  It didn’t happen all at once, but it likely started with this strange sense of feeling all alone in the Big Apple.  And then . . . there was this middle-aged (+) woman at work, who told me that I was handsome enough, but I didn’t have “it“. “It“, huh?  Hmmm!  Why would/should/did I care what some retiring Yenta thought?  How could something said by somebody so relatively insignificant get in the way of my dreams and aspirations?  Couldn’t!  Could it???  There must’ve been something in the timing of her saying it.  I might’ve been feeling all alone at the time.  I might’ve let myself think that the old gal sorta liked me, and felt betrayed by her declarative candor.  It might’ve just rang true.  Who knows?  Ultimately, it was my fault for letting it affect me.  But, it did affect me.  I played the part of the banker for the next 23 years, always justifying why I didn’t have the time to go to any auditions.

But, life went on.  “Life’s what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”  Yeah, John.  I hear ya, brother.  So, I wasn’t the Zac Efron . . . thirty(ish) years earlier.  Zac’s look probably wouldn’t have worked in the early ’80s anyways.  Hey!  Maybe . . . I could still play the kid’s dad, or something!  Ginger, call my agent!

Your Uncle Rave

9 Responses to “Ahhh . . . The Age of Confimism”

  1. 1 Joyce Libutti May 26, 2009 at 4:21 am

    I so enjoyed reading this candid account. By the way, the eyes never change. Recoginized you right away. It is the job of every young person to remind the older generation of the ‘spark’ of life
    otherwise referred to as the ‘eternal soul.’ That spark does not go out, it just gets dimmer with age from all the pollution it encounters along the way!! All this verve and vigor is what has kept this planet inhabited and evolving. I still have glimples as the spark really never goes out; it just gently smiles,lovingly supports by nodding and sees the beauty of taking a back seat and acquesing to the evolution of humanity.

  2. 2 JoAnn Wendl May 26, 2009 at 11:24 am

    I loved reading this, and identified with it fiercely. I spent the first three years in New York, feeling very lonely and homesick ( God knows why… tribute to the impossible dream ), then suddenly New York kicked in for me and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

    As far as the “It” factor is concerned, I no longer care what others think about the “It” factor… somehow it has far too much to do with other peoples vision or myopic view of the world, and now I know that the only thing that matters is my own good opinion of myself and self respect. But when I was 21 or 22, I was far too concerned about what others thought of me, and as a result was constantly ruminating about what others had said about me or this or that, instead of feeling and thinking through what I thought about things.

    You were absolutely beautiful to look at, and in my opinion, still are. I’d have fallen for you instantly. What could be more compelling than that lost young man looking for his identity… kind of a James Dean thing, don’t you think ? Were you interested in acting ? Is that why you were there ?

    Our youth is a beautiful time in our lives, but frought with constant inevitable insecurities that comes with lack of experience. I hope your memories of this young man reflect the fondness he deserves.

    However, I respectfully disagree with Joyce. The spark does not dim with age, I think it goes stronger with age given the mercy of a still functioning mind. One need only witness and meet a man like George hauser ( peace activist )who at the age of ninety two, absolutely glows.
    It’s called character.

  3. 3 DLG May 27, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Today must be your B’day, eh what? Iff so – have a good one! (If you still have enough energy at the end of the day!! 🙂


  4. 4 DLG May 27, 2009 at 7:25 am

    What – no solution today???


  5. 5 unclerave May 27, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Thank you, Joyce!

    There is still a spark left in this aging boy. Who knows? With the proper fuel and circulation it could still, one day, become a blazing inferno!


  6. 6 unclerave May 27, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Thank you, JoAnn . . . for all the compliments . . . and for sharing.

    Acting was the *plan*, such as it was.

    I believe Joyce was speaking in generalities, and not in absolutes. I think George Hauser, and others like him, are more the exception than the rule.

    I’m getting a decent number of hits on this little fluff piece!


  7. 7 unclerave May 27, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    B-day is still a few weeks off, DLG. Work and special events kept me from my appointed(?) rounds. Hope today makes up for yesterday’s, in some small way at least!


  8. 8 Colltales December 1, 2016 at 12:43 am

    Gentle, Uncle, easy. Those words will always sting, specially when we start ‘endorsing’ them after some time. But I, for one, wonder about those I may have told people I no longer remember, without considering their power to reverberate inside them for years to come. John’s mate put it well on Isn’t It a Pity? (‘How we break each other’s hearts, without thinking any more.’) Peace

  9. 9 unclerave December 2, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks, Wes! — YUR

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